A Fork in the Road

From this post forward, I’m going to shift the focus of this blog. At least the perception anyways. I’m not happy with the tone of some of my writing. I don’t want to come off as a ‘know-it-all’, and unfortunately my shift in domains from learnatmyexpense.com to lowcarblearning.com probably doesn’t help perceptions. I’ve received plenty of comments from folks (almost always personal trainers or ‘calories-in/calories-out’ proponents) that were, ahem, less than nice. That made me re-think this blog and its purpose. That and, let’s face it, I haven’t posted much the last 2 weeks. I just ran out of topics that really interested me to write about. One can only go so long on ‘it’s INSULIN, stupid!”

I’m no expert on anyone else. I don’t claim to be. But I do know how fat tissue is both stored and released in the body. There isn’t any debate on that – the science has been clear for decades. For some reason, very few people want to believe it. When I first stumbled on this information back in January, I thought I had uncovered a cure. A miracle. The SECRET. And, for me, it was and has been. I learned what foods produce an excess insulin response in my body, and I either stopped eating them altogether or I ate them in varying levels of moderation. Nothing to do with reading any fad diet book, no “Atkins” no “Zone”. Nothing to do with calories (I have never counted them and never will). And I only work out because, once I lost weight, as the science predicted – my body wanted to move more. I enjoy physical fitness now. That has been my whole point of this blog: that being lazy is a result of being fat, not the other way around. Taubes made this clear and my personal experience has proven it for me. I urge any naysayers who are obese to simply stop eating carbs for a couple of weeks and they’ll see. I urge any naysayers who are not obese to move on. Nothing here for you.

So…back to the real point of this post….going forward this blog is really all about my personal experience and opinions in maintaining my weight loss, particularly in regards to how my increased focus on fitness (which is a completely separate thing from fat loss (I just can’t stop can I? : ) ). My goal now has shifted from losing weight to achieving a higher level of physical fitness. I started focusing on this the past 2 weeks and it’s going well.

Why the shift in focus? Because I enjoy reading blogs that take all different approaches, but my favorites are those where the writing is of one’s personal experience, including the setbacks. I don’t want this to be an info blog. I want to write about my experience more. Day to day. My favorite blog the past few months has been this guy’s. He’s honest. He’s real. And he struggles. I’ve been fortunate to not struggle much. For reasons I’m trying to figure out. How does a guy who has been somewhere between way overweight and obese since the age of 9 or 10 turn it all around in one year? Why was I able to do it? I’ve just recently come to the realization that it isn’t simply knowing how to get your body to release fat cells and burn them. It’s more than that. I’ve seen folks who know the science yet still struggle. So just knowing why we get fat is not enough for many.

Tonight I went on a 30 minute walk at my local high school’s track. It was really refreshing and allowed me to clear my mind after an extremely stressful week. I was trying to think about why, when I see so many others struggling with their weight even when they know the science, why was I successful? After 15 minutes of increasing my walking pace it hit me…

I’ve been so laser-focused on weight-loss this past year because my life otherwise has been really quite shitty the past few years, and my own body has been the one thing I can completely control. I guess it’s like those angst-ridden teenage chicks that get anorexia. I like to think things aren’t that bad though, and they really aren’t. But the stressors that have hit me at this time in my life, I think, have driven me to probably have OCD when it came to weight loss, and thus fueled my success.

An example of these stressors: 2 years ago I blew ~$50k in cash and equity in the process of downgrading my primary residence, due to poor decisions, poorly chosen representatives, and poor communication. When I hit 40 years of age I thought I’d have been in a McMansion and life would be easier. Quite frankly, it hasn’t been. I’m in a house I could care less about. Can’t do anything about it. No control.

My career has gone well the past few years, with multiple promotions. And in a down economy especially, I’m extremely grateful. But the work isn’t as gratifying as it once was as we’re in the middle of trying to…I’ll leave it at that. In a nutshell, I don’t have the control I expected. Quitting isn’t an option – not because I can’t find something else. I could, easily. But because I truly believe in the end-game that we’re striving for. It’s just an awfully annoying and painful journey getting there. And I can’t control it. At least not to the level I expected.

My schedule and day to day responsibilities, beyond work, are increasingly hectic. Beyond hectic. And 90% of what I do every day is not of my own choice. And half the time I stop and say to myself, “Why?” I don’t control it. I need to, but I don’t.

Cue the violins….lol

So maybe my lack of control in all other aspects of my life are the secret to my weight loss success. Whatever works. I just know, as pessimistic as this post likely comes off….I’m happier these days than I was when I was fat.