Primal/Paleo Recipes

The Paleo Margarita Recipe: Low Carb Awesomeness In a Glass

The title says it all.

Let’s get this out up-front: this recipe is a once in a while thing. I’m not advocating that everyone go making this often, but if you’re a drunken fool then this is better than 99% of the alternatives. So, if you’re going to drink alcohol, aside from red wine I suppose (which I personally haven’t the taste for), then this is the ticket.

This Drink Rocks…Truly

I know, I know…you have tried lots of recipes off of the internet and it’s always a disappointment, kinda like my attempt at making Almond Flour Pancakes. They were okay I guess, but not something I’d bother trying to make again.

But this time, my friends, I’ve stumbled upon a recipe that absolutely kicks ass and will be made probably more often than it should be, because I won’t be able to help myself. Introducing the Paleo Margarita!

It’s so simple it’s silly. And surprisingly tasty. Honestly, I expected it to taste like a too strong or too watery weak imitation of those margaritas we’re all used to, you know, the ones with the pre-mix full of sugar, or the shit the vegans have been going Lady GaGa over lately – agave nectar, which is actually worse for you than table sugar.

Zing Zang? Really?

Paleo Margarita Recipe

This margarita recipe is absolutely perfect and so simple.


  • 3 parts Tequila
  • 2 parts Triple Sec
  • 1 part lime juice
  • Lime for garnish (if you care)
  • Sea Salt


Pretty obvious but heck, I’m Captain Obvious so I’ll blog about it anyway:

  1. Put the tequila, triple sec, and lime juice into a shaker (or pint glass) full of ice and mix it/shake it up well.
  2. Rub slice of lime around the rim of the the glass you intend to drink from. Coat it with sea salt. If you’re not an alcoholic and don’t have one of those rim salter contraptions, then do it barrio-style like I did and just place the sea salt onto a paper towel and rotated the glass around it (holding the glass sideways of course). If you put enough lime on the rim then it will stick well enough.
  3. Pour the margarita into the freshly salted glass, add your lime slice for garnish.
  4. Take a sip, delight in how amazing it tastes, and then leave a comment below exclaiming how it is better than those shitty margaritas you’ve been paying $7 apiece for at Friday’s or Applebees or your local Mexican non-authentic place of choice.

You’ll notice that it isn’t that fake slime green color you’re used to. It’s more like a cloud color.

I don’t always drink margaritas, but when I do, I only drink the Paleo Margarita. Stay Thirsty My Friends! (now I gotta go shave)

Time for Some Props

Now for some proper attribution. This recipe apparently is the original margarita recipe and has been around since the first margarita. I’ve heard that some authentic Mexican restaurants still make their margaritas this way, but most now use pre-made mixes full of sugar, or they add simple syrup or other crap to the mix. Once you’ve had one of these you will never want that other stuff again. Last weekend my wife and I went to an overpriced Mexican restaurant that had two great things that made up for the real meal: the margaritas and the tableside guacamole. This margarita recipe tastes just like it. Except it costs a lot less than the $9 apiece we were paying.

If you love it or hate it, leave a comment and let me know!

Primal/Paleo Recipes

Guacamole Is As Paleo Low Carb Delightful As It Gets

The other night my wife and I went to this Mexican restaurant where they charged ridiculous prices for just okay food that was so tiny in portion size it was laughable. But the margaritas kicked ass. It was fun.

The one dish we had there that was really, really good was the freshly made guacamole. The waiter just made it tableside and I got to watch the process. I know it sounds stupid but I guess I never really thought to make it myself before, even though I love it, and I knew avocados were a superfood.

Tonight, I attended an excellent Paleo 101 seminar at the CrossFit box. It was taught by Laura Pappas, who really knows her stuff. She mentioned avocados a number of times and it got me to thinking that I have, especially since starting CrossFit, been struggling with my energy levels the day (or two) after a hard workout. I’ve been thinking it is the lack of carbs (you’d think I’d kno better) but I’m wondering if that old nemesis – not eating enough fat – is nipping me in the ass again. Not nearly as badly as last Summer, but enough to hold back my energy levels. Towards the end of the seminar I asked about pre/post-workout foods and she recommended sweet potatoes, which I’ll continue to do for really hard metcons. But I’m also going to make a concerted effort to just eat more fat. I haven’t shied away from dietary fat in a long time now, and should know by now that I need to consciously eat more of it, but I need to consciously eat plenty AND THEN SOME. And not just the bacon in the morning.

This stuff kicks ass.

Kerrygold Butter

One of the best tips I got from the seminar – Laura mentioned that some of the folks at the box love Kerrygold butter, a high-quality butter from grass-fed cows. I’d heard of it online but never thought my local Acme would have it so never bothered looking. Between that and the avocado talk making me think back to that Saturday night tableside Guacamole, I headed straight for the grocery store once the seminar was finished. And guess what I found, in plain sight, but had never noticed before? Kerrygold butter! And I must say, it tastes incredibly good. Noticeably better than any other butter. It’s $3.95 for the equivalent of about 3 sticks of regular packaged butter, but I don’t think that’s too high. I also picked up some avocados and other stuff to make the homemade guacamole (recipe below!). It’s probably silly to post a recipe for such a simple thing, but had any of the blogs I subscribe to posted it I likely might have tried it sooner, so here it goes.

Guacamole Recipe


  • 2 Ripe Avocados
  • 1 Tomato
  • 4 Small Cloves of Garlic
  • Sea Salt
  • Lime


  1. Dice the tomato.
  2. Cut up the garlic cloves into small bits (I just sliced them ala Pauly from Goodfellas while in jail)
  3. Cut each avocado lengthwise, separate the two halves, and then pluck out the big ass pit.
  4. Schuck (i.e, scoop out) the avocado (everything except the skin) with a big spoon. If the avocado is ripe then it should pop out pretty easily.
  5. I forgot to buy one but I recall the waiter at the restaurant squeezing a half a lime into the mix. I made mine without it and it was 98% there. The lime was missing, but not crucial.
  6. I don’t remember for sure but I think they put in some salt. I used sea salt.

That’s it. And no, you don’t pair it up with tortilla chips and Dos Equis like this guy. Eat it like a man – with a spoon. Straight.

I always eat guacamole and when I do, I avoid the fattening chips. And you should avoid the cervesa, punk!

Seriously thinking about doing a Whole30. Anyone want to give it a shot with me?


Paleo Low Carb Almond Flour Pancakes

I’ve never been a big fan of trying to convert a bad food to a paleo or low carb version. I’ve tried low carb pizza, paleo pancakes, etc. It’s all been a big fail, for the most part.

And, in the pursuit of honesty, the following recipe is not worth the time or hassle 99% of the time. But…for a very once in a while break from the usual eggs and meat or vegetable combination that most of us healthy eaters partake in as part of our daily ritual called breakfast, the below recipe is probably the best version of pancakes I’ve tried.

Almond Flour Pancakes

The Ingredients (no, those bagels in the plastic wrap in the back are not mine, nor included in this recipe)
  • 1.5 cups of Almond Flour
  • .5 cup of Coconut Milk – I used the Vanilla flavored kind
  • 3 eggs – other variations of this recipe call for more egg than is needed, but if you want some extra fat/protein then throw in a fourth egg
  • 1.5 tsp Ground Cinnamon or Pumpkin Spice
  • 1.5 tsp of Vanilla Extract – vary the amount to your taste; in my case I used the Vanilla Coconut Milk so I used just .5 tsp and I still didn’t taste any vanilla

Throw all the above into a mixing bowl and then mix with a big spoon. It mixes up nicely and fairly quickly. No need for a mixer. Then, preheat a frying pan (the larger the better), melt some butter if you are okay with dairy. I used a large, make that very large, tablespoon that made for perfect sized pancakes. Not too thin but not too thick.

Mixed Up and Ready for the Frying Pan
Mixed Up and Ready for the Frying Pan

Toppings: butter, fruit – I used blackberries, which are my least favorite berry but they were buy one package get one free this week…

If you don’t mind the sugar spike then some honey drizzled over top is a good idea, as these things cry out for sweetener of some sort.

If I could do it all over again I’d try making a blackberry and heavy cream sauce of some sort instead of just wimping out and going with the honey.

The Verdict

I know this is where I’m supposed to gush about how wonderfully tasty the recipe is. That’s what every other blogger seems to do. But I would be lying if I did. The verdict is an honest:

2.5 out of 5 stars. They were okay. They were worth a go. A nice break from the usual eggs. 

Just 'Okay' - Not a Thumbs Up or a Thumbs Down
Meh. They were okay, not great! (that’s a “Thumb’s Middle” versus a “Thumb’s Up!” sign.

Meh. They were okay. Somewhat tasty with a little bit of drizzled honey over them. I’m glad I made them, but quite frankly, if it weren’t for the side of bacon I made with them, they would have been too bland. Do yourself a favor and forego all these ‘low carb pizza dough’ (not to confused with my wife’s delectable portobello mushroom pizza) and ‘paleo pancakes’ and other stuff and just stick with eggs. It could be just my cooking skills but I doubt it. Whenever I get an itch to try one of these goofy ass recipes, it always results in an honest ‘Meh.’

Before trying this out I researched some variations of how to make these things on the internet. Without fail, the recipe blog poster would always end with the infamous ‘kid test’, where they’d include a pic of their kid smiling with utter glee after eating a stack of the almond pancakes. Well, I guess I need to do the same. Here is the reaction from my kid after he tasted a tiny morsel of my delectable pancakes:

Thumb’s Down!

‘Nuf said.

What are your thoughts on the topic of trying to make junk (like pancakes, pizza, bread, etc.) healthy by making it ‘paleo’? If you have any links or suggestions for some new paleo-friendly recipes, please leave a comment. I really need to start cooking more.

Nutrition/Weight Loss Recipes

Low Carb Paleo Coconut Broccoli Bacon Stir Fry Salad

While the name doesn’t sound so great, this dish turned out amazingly well. I made it for lunch but it certainly would make for a great dinner or a side dish.

Coconut Broccoli Bacon Stir Fry Spinach Salad


  • Coconut Oil
  • Bacon strips
  • Butter
  • Vegetables (feel free to vary)
  • Broccoli
  • Mushroom Slices
  • Spinach Leaves
  • Coconut flakes
  • Dressing of choice (I used Spicy Dijon Mustard)
    1. In a frying pan on medium-high heat, add melt tablespoons of Coconut Oil.
    2. Add some strips of bacon. I used 3 strips. Fry the bacon until it is close to being done as you would normally cook it, but not quite.

    Low Carb Portobello Mushroom Pizza Recipe

    Read this and weep with desire – we have found a suitable replacement for pizza! I am not kidding. Read on!

    Low Carb Portobello Pizza
    Low Carb Portobello Pizza

    My wife made this for dinner tonight and it was incredible. Based on the recipe here, she loaded ours up with sausage, pepperoni, fresh mozzarella, and a low-sugar jarred tomato sauce. Next time we’ll make our own tomato sauce fresh, from stewed tomatoes and tomato paste, but let’s not be picky here.

    I have to admit, I was quite skeptical when, as I was eating some salad, my wife takes the first bite of her pizza and just starts raving about how it “totally tastes like real pizza!” I then took a bite of mine and was quite surprised at how good it was. It was downright awesome.